Holidays.
Somehow we're always looking forward to them, but at some point during them, we wish we were back at school.
Oh I'm not talking about missing all the pressure, stress and work... no, that is not missed at all. It's the people, the atmosphere, the conversations, gossip, and just the essence of it all. It's your friends, mostly. They make school, school.
And during the holidays, you never see enough of them.
You wish you could, but they're away, or you're away, or there's just no time... and you start wondering why you wanted the holidays in the first place.
You start wishing school could just involve going to school and socialising the whole day, because you really don't want to do that whole work load your given. All the homework, now that could just go holidaying in Antartica and never come back.
Holidays.
Everyone's perception of the holidays are different.
Some think of family outings. Others think of hitting the plaza and shopping until their feet drop off.
Some think it's a time to sit at home and watch movies. Others think it's when you pack your suitcase and get ready to travel to some new foreign place your parents have decided to visit. That's me actually. That's what a holiday is for me. Travelling to some new weird place, constantly on the move. New experiences, new sights, not much time for relaxing, and what relaxing there is involves sitting in a hotel room, colapsing from exhaustion (maybe watching a few tv shows in a different language). Sure, there was also the part of the holidays where you would sit around the house for a bit, wondering what to do, wasting time on the internet and watching tv, maybe meeting up with a few friends in town, maybe visiting the zoo. But that's a granted gift with holidays. Wherever you are, that type of stuff is normal holiday material. But mostly, holidays for me are travel... not this time.
We went to the beach these holidays. We spent a week there. At the beach. We didn't go visiting cathedrals and castles in the vicinity, or go spend the day walking around a famous ancient city. We didn't haul our bags from one hotel to another, and we didn't have lunch in a different foreign cafe each lunch. We didn't spend endless hours in the car, traveling from one small town to the next, and we didn't get a billion pictures taken next to an old statue. We just didn't do any of the things I was used to. It felt like we didn't do anything at all. I felt like I was wasting my time siting around reading or painting, or siting on the beach. It felt odd.
I was talking to my friend, saying how I was hardly doing anything, and that it didn't feel right. He said it sounded pretty much like a true holiday to him. And you know what, I guess it did. I guess it kinda was an actual holiday.
It could have something to do with the fact that I just spent three years living in Europe, and every single holiday we got, we visited some different city. I guess I just got used to the idea of free time equaling travel, because we didn't have much time to spare. Our time was limited and we had to make the most of it. So every chance we got, our suitcases were packed and we were all ready waiting to see another castle, another church, another roman ruin, and yet another European city that we hadn't seen before, yet reminded us of the countless others we had seen. I guess I just lost the idea of taking a break. I guess I forgot what it was to relax, and be allowed to enjoy free time. I guess I just forgot. Full stop.
It was kinda nice. Not having to do anything. I could think, dream and just enjoy things. Although I did get the feeling I should be doing something else. Because, you see, when we were in Europe, my parents would only have to mention the word castle, and we would groan. Another one. Seriously. We had seen like, a gazillion already, and they all ended up looking the same anyway. But these holidays, I found myself missing all those castles. All those old cities we trudged around, the old buildings, cafes, and even the old cathedrals. Because you don't get any of that here. I was actually missing those hectic holidays I took for granted, and I wish we had gone on more. The beach was nice, peaceful, relaxing, but it still felt like something was missing.
Holidays.
You always seem to wonder where they go. You start them, thinking I've got all the time in the world. You start them, making all these elaborate plans. You start them, putting off all that homework you've got piled up, thinking, I've got time. I've got time. But then, somehow, the time gets away from you, and you're on the last day, with a stack of homework, too many watched movies, all these forgotten plans and you just wonder what happened.
You end up thinking, if only I could have done this, if only I could have done that, and you decide that next holidays, you'll be more productive. But there's this little voice in the back of your mind saying what you don't want to hear - that it'll all be the same next time 'round. And of course, you know it will. Everyone does.
It's a horrible feeling, the last day of the holidays. It's all finishing. Your freedom, it's all gone. School is taking over, and as much as you can't wait to see all your friends you've missed, and catch up on that you've missed out on, you really don't look forward to that first day. You really don't.
Holidays.
Holidays.
Holidays...
The word itself kind of says it all.
-KELSEY
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