Chapter 5: The energy doctor

So I’m under treatment for my horribly weak neck. It’s shit, it really is and it hurts like a bitch. So after countless treatments my dear mother got a recommendation from one of her dear friends to maybe go see a different type of doctor. And with that I mean a whole different type of doctor.

The energy doctor, as I like to call her, is supposed to balance the energy is my body. They’re bizarre her treatments. She usually starts by asking me how Im doing and feeling. Then she asks about my experiences and pain throughout the last month and then she asks me about my school, friends and workload. All this she does whilst carefully taking notes. Mind you, I think she’s filled half a book with my feelings and thoughts already. After she’s finished with the more open-ended questions, she gets me to tell her on a scale from 1 to 10 my stress level, my pain level and emotional feelings which of course she also keeps a diary of.

At the start of the actual treatment, she gets me to sit down on one of those patient beds and I then have to extend my arm. She asks my body all sorts of things like which pain is more urgent, is there any emotional or energy blockages and am I getting enough minerals and vitamins. My body of course answers correspondingly and really I don’t know how she knows what it’s thinking, especially when she doesn’t actually read the questions out loud but instead sweeps her hand over them. It’s weird and freaks me out a little every time.

After this initial start, she proceeds with the session. This may involve getting rid of the energy blockages my body claims to have through pressing random points on my body that apparently are interconnected. This may also involve electric shock therapy, which hurts real bad, or it may involve a psycho or massage session. I prefer the massage session, as this seems to be the only thing that works. The shock therapy I only do whilst in session and don’t repeat at home cause it freaks me out. The energy blockage session I am paranoid about and the psychological evaluation session just creeps me out. Really it’s none of her business what I dream about, what I do in my free time, or what my family situation is like. I go there for my neck, and nothing else. Yet she seems to believe it’s all in the head.

During the session, wether it’d be a psycho or massage session, she writes on a little card my homework, which usually consist of physical exercises, vitamin supplements or new sitting or walking positions. She’s also given me countless items to take home. From a huge sitting ball to the discussed electro-shock gun to alcoholic herb mixtures I’m supposed to spray under my tongue to help me relax.

After the session is done, she repeats the process from the beginning of the session but adds questions such as have we unbalanced anything or is your path of life open. She then proceeds to give me a rose, either a red or a white one and rushes me out of the door with greetings to my mom.

So long for another month.

-EMILIE